We see a lot of couples clearly in the early stages of dating. They tend to be awkward, shy, unsure, and insecure, with each looking to the other for approval and direction. They—or at least one of them—likely thought Disney would be a slam dunk of a date. After all, how could anyone not have fun at Disney? There’s so much to do and see and experience and eat! But that’s also the problem: too many options and not enough time. When you haven’t yet established your lines of comfortable communication, navigating a Disney day—particularly when it’s a date—can be daunting. Here are some tips for making that first Disney date a great date:
The Three Types of Disney Dates
To be clear, we’re talking twosomes here: you, and your date. Doubles and groups don’t count! That said… there tend to be three Disney date scenarios:
1) The Disney date you plan together
2) The Disney date you plan all on your own
3) The Disney date you’ve accepted
Each carries with it different expectations and levels of responsibility. But at the core of the date is the hope that the adventure will bring you closer together.
The Disney date you plan together—If you’re planning the date together, you’ve already got a good thing going: you’re both into it and enthusiastic about having a fun time together. More than likely, you’re going to plan on spending the day and staying until the park closes, or thereabouts. It’s hard to go wrong when you’re both going in with a shared love of Disney, and yet…
If your plan is to just get there and wing it, you may want to leave just a little less to chance and augment your spontaneous approach with a few agreed upon must-do’s and if-it-can-work’s. What are your top-drawer attractions that you’d make every effort to experience? The more in accord you are going in, the fewer unpleasant surprises you could be in store for when deciding which direction to pivot in next.
Example: Your partner is dead-set on seeing a parade. You, on the other hand, had strategically planned on taking advantage of the parade time to get in an extra Space Mountain. This could easily turn into one of those stop-everything moments as the two of you confront a sudden crisis in the middle of The Happiest Place on Earth.
The Disney date you plan on your own—Start with, if you’re going to surprise your partner, at least give him/her fair warning that there will be enough walking to necessitate comfortable shoes and appropriate attire for a full day outdoors. That is, unless this is expressly a dinner date, but that’s a discussion for another post. Assuming your plan is to bring your mate—or mate-maybe-to-be—to a place synonymous with happiness and childhood memories, take a moment or two to consider your guest: s/he may have his or her own memories, positive or negative, and that should be taken into account.
It is a date, after all, and even though you’re acting as travel planner and tour guide (or some combination thereof), the hope is for you and your date to get to know each other better—and likely a lot better—by revealing your vulnerabilities under the safe auspices of Disney. What makes you happy, what makes you cry, what were you afraid of as a children? These are all precious pieces of our psyches that we don’t necessarily share easily, but which Disney will likely touch upon. While you may be ready to give your date this window into your heart, be mindful of your companion and provide the same safe harbor as Disney gives you. From one moment to the next, there’s a lot to take in, and all the more when you’re trying to impress someone or win their favor. By staying attentive and sensitive to your date, you’ll be able to detect the first signs of overload and provide relief.
The Disney date you accepted—When you’re the guest, your experience, to a greater or lesser extent, will be dictated by what your host sees as the most meaningful aspects of the park. Remember this as you find yourself in line for a ride you’d rather skip or denied the ride you were most excited about going on. Before you begin questioning the future of the relationship, question your companion in the form of conversation: Why is such-and-such ride a favorite—or how come it isn’t? Your date wants to be seen for who he or she is, and it might be up to you to see through a different set of eyes in order to better understand this person you’re with. Likely, too, your date wants to see the real you, as well, so don’t be timid about asserting your own suggestions for activities.
The biggest challenge of being the guest is in trying not to compete with Disney for your date’s attention or affection. Disney’s embrace is powerful after all, and you may find your companion’s eyes filled with so much pixie dust as to make them seem blind to your presence—particularly if your relationship is in its formative stages. Try to remind yourself that you were invited to share the Disney experience, not bear witness to it, and your date is likely assuming you’re thinking and feeling all the same things he or she is thinking and feeling. Trust that your presence is not only felt, but is, in fact, elevating every minute of your date’s Disney joy to even higher heights. You just have to believe. And if you believe, you’ll be smiling all the more for seeing the happiness in your companion’s face—and vice-versa.
General Tips—Regardless of Who Invited Whom
Take a break (or several)—Unless you’re both in complete accord that you’re going to run free and amok like kids without parents and not stop ’til you drop, you should consider taking a break in a romantic spot where you can enjoy a beverage or snack and talk a bit. Relaxing in a nice setting and watching the people go to and fro is a great way to contrast the day’s aggressive pace by slowing down time and letting some of the day’s memories settle in and take hold.
Never force—While you may be comfortable with roller-coaster-type rides, your companion might not share your enthusiasm. It’s fair to give an encouraging nudge, enticement or reassurance that the experience will be more fun than scary, but if your companion isn’t ready to take the leap, accept that it’s not the right time and move on. You made the effort and that was enough. Resist challenging with ultimatums or dares, even if you think it’s in fun. It won’t be taken in fun and might even create a wedge.
When in doubt, stop and listen—Should you find yourself “in between gigs” as it were, with a potentially awkward chunk of time on your hands, follow your ears. Somewhere there’s a band playing or a parade parading. Or maybe it’s just about realizing there’s a dialog playing out from the second story of the cul-de-sac off Main Street between Minnie Mouse and her piano teacher. Passive moments can be as entertaining as active ones, and you will have enjoyed some quality time you weren’t expecting.
At the End of the Day
If you’re both smiling, laughing, singing, or dancing—or all of the above—you’ve obviously had a good date and probably a pretty good thing going. Don’t let it go—build on it! Your next Disney adventure will be even better! And if things didn’t go so well—talk about why. Communication is an important part of any relationship, and there’s no way to make your next date better if you don’t know why this one wasn’t perfect. Ideally, your next date will be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Have a First Disney Date Tip of your own? Please share it, and help the next new couple have a happy and memorable first date at Disney!